Is your KPI an indicator from Hell?

Readers and friends of my blog will know that my workload is shitty, not in a physical way but one which is common in a corporate world. The nature of my role as an accountant isn't something that people would take on, less mention envy.

The ironic to that is promotion for the role comes in quicker than any other role. I got my promotion and a bump increase in my salary. I should rightfully be happy but sadly I'm not.



I received my KPI objective for 2014 today from my boss. With promotion comes greater responsibility, that's fine. But today, the KPI I received is incredibly quite insane. It appears to me that KPI is a devilish gift and an indicator from Hell. It never appears to make sense for me and to be honest it is seemingly futile to argue otherwise.

Let me put it this way. Imagine yourself as Lionel Messi in a striker role and your KPI were set as follows:



- Scores 50 goals a season (with or without injury)
- If your defense concedes more than 3 goals in just one single match throughout the season, you are screwed.
- The team is not allowed to win just by a single goal, at least two or more goal margins will be counted as winners.
- If your teammate does not convert shots into goals, you will be equally penalised.

Those are the types of KPI I get in my workplace. They are not only overly ambitious but also ridiculous and you get penalised for things that are not at your control. 

I'm just lamenting, it's the weekends after all I'm after :)

Does anyone share the same experience as me? Is your KPI better or worse? If that's the case, anyway out for you?